Changing my Perspective

Do you ever have a problem recognizing yourself in the mirror?

I have that problem all the time. I am now a skinny person. I know this. I have been a skinny person for several months now. I fit into pants I have never been able to before. I can run farther, dance harder, and just push myself to some amazing limits. I know that I am now a size 3/4. But as I sit here, in front of my work computer, i still feel "not skinny."

Now stop your thinking right there. This is not some pity plea to get you to give me pats on the back about my hard work. I am just saying that sometimes I walk past a mirror and I get this jolt of electricity. I just have this shock. Is that me? Wow I look great! Where did the double chin and stomach go?

The thing that I find the craziest are the people who didn't know me BEFORE. For instance my children just started daycare in October. These daycare people didn't know me Then. They don't know the effort that I have put in. My children are both very tiny. They have no butts, and forget about a waist. It's impossible to find clothes to fit. So half the time my oldest daughter can be seen pulling her pants back up.

The other day I dropped her off and as she walked away I said, "Girl hike your pants up!" Her teacher commented on how skinny she was. My quick reply was, Oh she gets it from her father, he is so skinny. And she replied back, you both are tiny people. I stopped for a second. Both? No, not me. I am not tiny. And then I realized that yes, to her I am tiny. She doesn't know the effort and portion controls that I put into place. She just believes that I am this naturally tiny person. She may even be jealous and think that I probably eat Bon Bon's and giant bags of Cheetos and just naturally look that tiny.

Every where I go complete strangers see me as a skinny person. They probably see my toned arms and skinny runners legs and think I am naturally that way. I know I have thought that many times in the past.

Of course there's no way I would correct such thinking. I would just love to eat entire boxes of ice cream sandwiches and be tiny. But it did get me to thinking, how many other people are that way? How many skinny people walk by us, and we think, GAH WHAT A JERK FACE FOR BEING SO GORGEOUS. And really they busted their booties 6 days a week sweating it out at the gym. How many people have I judged by looks alone?

John 7:24 says, Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.

This is what I am going to try to work on. I am going to try to live a healthy life, and not judge myself, my friends, my family, and complete strangers. I know this will be extremely hard to do. I judge people all the time. I judge heavy people as much as skinny people. Not everyone has the same life circumstances as me. But I am going to pray and work on it. Changing into a healthy lifestyle has to happen on the outside as well as the in.