The whole point of me wanting to lose weight was to get rid of the belly. I
wanted to take a step away from Mrs. Claus and a step towards some flat
stomached gorgeousness. We will call my ab Goddess Natasha. There were many
reasons I wanted to become Natasha. I wanted to make sure I prevented strain on
my heart, I wanted to get rid of chub, I wanted to wear a bathing suit and not
look like a Keebler elf.
In the past, I would always start crunching like crazy, then promptly give up
with a cupcake in one hand, a Coke in the other, and a bag of Cheetos resting on
my beach ball of a belly. This time I actually did some research and learned I
could not magically target zones. Instead, I changed my lifestyle, and lost the
weight.
I dropped all of my goal weight and STILL had the dang belly. What is up with
that? I stood on a rooftop and shouted to the world with a shaking fist:
WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO SMOOTH YOU OUT!!!!!!!!!! Am I destined to
resemble a Honey Kissed Ham FOREVER?!?!?! Why does your body not let you TARGET
ZOOONNNNEEESSS
(make zones echo to get the right affect)
Apparently the answer, because yes of course I do have the secret weight loss
answer you have all been wanting. This answer.... are you sitting on the edge of
your seats??? The answer.. is time. Ugh. I know right? That is the worst answer
EVER. But that's it. Time. You just have to keep at it. Keep working out. Keep
eating right. Keep on keeping on with your bad self. And eventually, whenever it
good and well feels like it, it will just start melting away.
In the past two months I have only lost 2 pounds, which is fine since I am
not attempting to lose weight anyway. But I have lost FOUR inches of belly.
FOUR. My stomach still has some more to go. It still has stretch marks that I
call my "beauty baby marks" in front of my girls. But it is SHRINKING DANGIT!
And I haven't done a single thing to encourage it! EUREKA! And yes, I will
answer to Natasha!
