Studying the Word can give you an epiphany that forces you to stop reading, and start writing out your feelings. This is one of those times.
Last year I had a hard time of life and friendships. I have always wanted the forever friend. The person who wouldn't walk away. Who would put up with me and all my flaws, who would love me no matter what, and who I would respect enough to listen, when they brought up something I needed direction in. God gave me my husband, who is all of the above, but I wanted a female friend.
I thought I had one. We had been friends for a decade. Sometimes we drifted apart, but we had been close for a long time. She knew entirely too much about me, way more than I was comfortable with. Anyway, through a series of silly encounters which included female drama, she dumped me for the cool kid crowd. Yes I know I am an adult, but popularity still matters, and I have never been popular.
When this happened I was TOTALLY devastated. Demoralized. Depressed. I felt like the worst person ever. I kept praying and praying over it. Why is this happening to me? What do I need to change? How can I force her to be friends with me? How do I continue on with this broken relationship? I was envious of these other girls. I was angry and jealous. I was not in a happy place. At the time I was studying the book of James.
James 4:1 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?
I realized that I was the cause of the strife. I was the one who put the barrier up. One day in a particularly powerful time of prayer between God and I, He spoke to me. I believe I asked God something to the effect of, "GOD! JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO! HOW CAN I CHANGE TO BE FRIENDS WITH HER!" And for the first time in my life, God spoke to me. He said three words that changed everything, "At what cost?" One simple question. It shook my life. Yes I could be friends with this person and the cool kid crowd. But at what cost to myself? What would I give up? I was a light to the world, an example of Godliness. What would I give up if I conformed myself to them instead of towards His image?
Later I prayed that I needed a covenant relationship with a woman. I craved it and God pointed out to me that I had one all along. I was focusing my attention on the relationships from the world, instead of a relationship that would be forged in the kingdom. Now my life is totally changed from a year ago. I have grown even further in the Word. I am even more active in my church, my marriage is better, and I have this blessed covenant relationship.
This brings us to today's study. Again in James, I read 4:1 and continued to 2.
Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet[a] you do not have because you do not ask.
You do not have because you do not ask. I never asked God for a covenant relationship. I wanted one, but I was trying to force this situation out myself. I wasn't letting God operate in the section of my life where friendships were concerned. Once all of my praying and circling around and around the subject was over, I FINALLY thought, hey! what if I ask God about it? And He immediately, perfectly answered me. He was probably thinking, it's about time she figured it out!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Faith and Prosperity
Last year my husband and I took a ministry training program at church. In it we had a Prosperity class where the teacher very succinctly pointed out why we should tithe, why we should save, and why we should give offerings. He explained what the Word said on blessings and finances. On how God wanted us to live in over-abundance. He then said if you cannot live by the 10/10/80 rule, (tithe 10%, save 10%, live off the 80%), we needed to either make more money, or cut expenses.
We decided together that we wanted to live off of the rule. I did a budget, and there was just no way. We could not create more income unless there was a job change, something neither of us wanted to do. So we set about for the year cutting expenses. We changed cell phone plans, we changed internet plans, we canceled small payments. We were more conservative on our energy consumption which brought our utility bills down. We canceled and cut off many things.
We greatly reduced our budget and we forgot about the whole 10/10/80. We just spent more. We ate out, we bought things, we lived in excess. Another year rolls by and we decided to repeat the program. Committing a year gave us so many unexpected gifts, a stronger marriage, a united family, and several of our unsaved family members joining the church. Who wouldn't want to have another amazing year? Plus with all of our new knowledge, we could learn things we missed the first time.
So month 3, we are in Prosperity again. The teacher brings up 10/10/80 and it was like a slap in the head. We KNEW we had to tithe, we just forgot to. We knew that Malachi 3:10 says: Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this, "Says the Lord of hosts, "If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing
That there will not be room enough to receive it.
God said to Try Him and boy did we want to. So we wrote the budget out, and was I ever shocked to see that the numbers matched up. There was enough to tithe 10%, save 10%, and live off of the 80%.
Now let me back up here for a second. When we cut our bills down, we started to spend more. Well suddenly 6 months into living that way, we were constantly out of money. There was nothing left. I would put all the information down, subtract it all out, and there wasn't enough. The numbers did not make sense. Literally, I am a banker, I have taken numerous Calculus classes. I tutor everyone in any math subject even if I haven't taken the class, just let me read the chapter and I can teach it to you. I do algebra and geometry in my sleep- literally. There is NO reason why I shouldn't be able to handle a budget. Somehow it had gotten completely away from me. I would log into our online banking and we would be negative. It was horrible. I believe the thief had taken our goodwill toward tithing, got us to focus instead on ourselves, and was reeking havoc in our finances.
So fast forward to Prosperity class. That week we had like $2 and we were going to have to put our gas on a credit card. I sat down with the bible out, wrote down our deposits, wrote out a tithe, and a savings deposit, and subtracted all of our other bills and it worked. The numbers lined up. This was a direct gift from God. I was testing Him. Here God, take these broken finances and try to find a tithe in there, and He gave it to me.
My husband and I joyfully turned in our first tithe check. We had been Daniel Fasting for 21 days and in a couple weeks we were greatly looking forward to going to a buffet and indulging. I pulled up our budget, typed in all the info. We had enough to live on, but we just simply didn't have the extra $50 to take our family to an expensive buffet. We could go buy groceries, and have a feast at home, but the $50 wasn't there. We had several options. We could have taken it from the Tithe- that was not an option. We could have taken it from our savings account- also not an option if we didn't want to set a precedent. We decided to just eat at home. My husband was disappointed. I really wasn't. He is the steak eater of the two of us.
So that Sunday rolls around, and we gladly gave up our chance at the buffet after service and turned in our Tithe check. We had not spoken of our commitment to anyone in the family. This was our personal matter. At the end of service I looked down at my cell phone. My mother texted me and said she wanted to take us out to eat, she would pay. (this never happens unless it's my birthday) We gladly went. At lunch she handed me over a $500 check. She told me that she got a surprise inheritance, and wanted to give me a portion of it.
I tested God and he proved it. Again, Malachi 3:10 says: Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this, "Says the Lord of hosts, “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it.
Thank you for your blessings God. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
We decided together that we wanted to live off of the rule. I did a budget, and there was just no way. We could not create more income unless there was a job change, something neither of us wanted to do. So we set about for the year cutting expenses. We changed cell phone plans, we changed internet plans, we canceled small payments. We were more conservative on our energy consumption which brought our utility bills down. We canceled and cut off many things.
We greatly reduced our budget and we forgot about the whole 10/10/80. We just spent more. We ate out, we bought things, we lived in excess. Another year rolls by and we decided to repeat the program. Committing a year gave us so many unexpected gifts, a stronger marriage, a united family, and several of our unsaved family members joining the church. Who wouldn't want to have another amazing year? Plus with all of our new knowledge, we could learn things we missed the first time.
So month 3, we are in Prosperity again. The teacher brings up 10/10/80 and it was like a slap in the head. We KNEW we had to tithe, we just forgot to. We knew that Malachi 3:10 says: Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this, "Says the Lord of hosts, "If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing
That there will not be room enough to receive it.
God said to Try Him and boy did we want to. So we wrote the budget out, and was I ever shocked to see that the numbers matched up. There was enough to tithe 10%, save 10%, and live off of the 80%.
Now let me back up here for a second. When we cut our bills down, we started to spend more. Well suddenly 6 months into living that way, we were constantly out of money. There was nothing left. I would put all the information down, subtract it all out, and there wasn't enough. The numbers did not make sense. Literally, I am a banker, I have taken numerous Calculus classes. I tutor everyone in any math subject even if I haven't taken the class, just let me read the chapter and I can teach it to you. I do algebra and geometry in my sleep- literally. There is NO reason why I shouldn't be able to handle a budget. Somehow it had gotten completely away from me. I would log into our online banking and we would be negative. It was horrible. I believe the thief had taken our goodwill toward tithing, got us to focus instead on ourselves, and was reeking havoc in our finances.
So fast forward to Prosperity class. That week we had like $2 and we were going to have to put our gas on a credit card. I sat down with the bible out, wrote down our deposits, wrote out a tithe, and a savings deposit, and subtracted all of our other bills and it worked. The numbers lined up. This was a direct gift from God. I was testing Him. Here God, take these broken finances and try to find a tithe in there, and He gave it to me.
My husband and I joyfully turned in our first tithe check. We had been Daniel Fasting for 21 days and in a couple weeks we were greatly looking forward to going to a buffet and indulging. I pulled up our budget, typed in all the info. We had enough to live on, but we just simply didn't have the extra $50 to take our family to an expensive buffet. We could go buy groceries, and have a feast at home, but the $50 wasn't there. We had several options. We could have taken it from the Tithe- that was not an option. We could have taken it from our savings account- also not an option if we didn't want to set a precedent. We decided to just eat at home. My husband was disappointed. I really wasn't. He is the steak eater of the two of us.
So that Sunday rolls around, and we gladly gave up our chance at the buffet after service and turned in our Tithe check. We had not spoken of our commitment to anyone in the family. This was our personal matter. At the end of service I looked down at my cell phone. My mother texted me and said she wanted to take us out to eat, she would pay. (this never happens unless it's my birthday) We gladly went. At lunch she handed me over a $500 check. She told me that she got a surprise inheritance, and wanted to give me a portion of it.
I tested God and he proved it. Again, Malachi 3:10 says: Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this, "Says the Lord of hosts, “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it.
Thank you for your blessings God. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
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